Day2: Productive. 

I’m lying in my bed right now, reflecting how my day was & I must say I’m glad… Glad that I woke up on time and did almost everything I was supposed to do. 

I love being lazy but I feel a lot better when I am productive. It makes me feel positive, makes me want to keep going. 

Of course, I wasn’t perfect all of a sudden. I still skipped my breakfast & had to rush. I still skipped the reading hour and walked for a longer time than I had planned  but I’m still glad that I did something rather than staying in bed & i just hope to get better and better gradually. 

What about you? How was your second day of the year?? 

Day1: happy 2020! 

I have been lost in the past months, feels like I still am. Last year brought a rollercoaster of emotions and so many unexpected events that I forgot about a lot of things completely. Things, that have been important to me, a part of my life… Things I should have taken care for and yet didn’t or forgot. Unfortunately,This is one of them.

As 2020 begins I am ready to make a comeback here, to have my space back… Which I used to share with you all, to read what you’ve written and  peek in your lives and let you have a peek into my mind. 

I hope 2020 brings out a stronger version of ourselves and god showers us all with courage, wisdom & strength. 
This year we have an extra day of opportunity, an extra day for hope. 🌻

Wish you all good luck and a very happy new year. 

The closed site. 

The site of our future remains closed. No one visits it anymore. You are out there building your future with someone else, picked up a new site. Everything is new and the latest and I’m here picking up a spot to build up a new house of my own, alone this time. The first thing I’ve bought is a fence. Because I know I’ll keep the fence as high as I can and also a bookshelf. These two would probably be my shield. 

‌The road to my new site passes by from the remains of the one we left. I see that place ruining day by day. 

Whenever I look at it, I sigh in defeat. 

Your new site belongs far, far away from here. I’m sure you’ve forgotten you still share a piece of land with me… On which the remains stand still.

I wonder if you ever turn your car around and drive this far to come back and see how it looks like. How much it has changed? Though I know the answer already, I still do. 

I do wonder if you stand outside to take a brief look at it, to see where we had put each and every brick together. I wonder if you wonder what would have happened had I stayed, you stayed and we worked on it?? 
But it’s too late to fix it and neither of us has the energy to do that. 

Now we just share a piece of land, nothing more and nothing less than that.  

Ps- inspired by a poem I read recently. 

Your t-shirt 

I asked you for your t-shirt, the other day.. 

You said what would I do with it, where would I keep it, when will I wear it??  

Honestly, I had not thought about that either. 

I just wanted it, something that smelled like you.. And so I had it.  

After you left, guess what was still there?? Your t-shirt.  

I smelled it all the time, wore it as many times as I could.. Wrapped myself around it like a safety blanket to sleep with.  

I lost my home, now that home belongs to someone else but at least I had something, a souvenir of that place which was mine; a souvenir which is mine.  

Time passed by and so did my dependence on your t-shirt. It felt like you are around me. 

Until one day I saw flies buzzing around it,  indicating it stinks.  I shooed them away many times but they came back.  

So, I realized I need to wash it.

It took everything out of me to put it into the machine because I knew what would happen and as it swirled around with water and detergent, I could feel your smell fading away.  

I dried it up in the sunlight which evaporated every last scent of you.. Slowly as the day passed by.  

At the end of the day, I took back inside my laundry.. Folded them with some music on  

But when my hands touched your t-shirt, I stopped to see of there is anything left..  I hoped maybe there is some of you lurking there.. 

But I was wrong..  It does not smell like you anymore..  

So what did I do with it?  

I put it into a hanger safely in my wardrobe.  

The t-shirt is still there, it always will be, I love it and look at it every time I’m searching for clothes. I’d wear it too. 

 I can’t throw it away..

But now it reminds me more of myself, than you.. Because now, it smells like me 
Now it belongs to me and only me.  

I’m okay. 

I have been okay for a really long time, I don’t even remember how long has it been. Maybe so long that I have stopped breaking out of it.  
Maybe now I’m okay with being okay..                        

    
Image- screenshot of excerpt from “after ever happy”  by Anna Todd.  

Where rainbows end? 

​I went out of my house once, following the rainbow to search where it ends.. What lies there? A mysterious place or maybe treasure? I didn’t know.  I kept walking and walking only to realize the rainbow kept in moving farther, the more I tried to get closer the farther it went.  My feet started moving faster and I started running so fast that I was huffing. But then, for once I stopped and closed my eyes to catch my breath..  
And within seconds it disappeared. Gone.  Forever.  

And I came back home..  With a lesson, that the rainbow I saw was just a myth, that there are no treasures at the end, that rainbows end nowhere…  🙂 

Picture credits- Google.  

Happy birthday.  

Every bibliophile could probably relate to the way I’m feeling today because it’s one of my favorite book characters’ birthday. So I can’t help but be happy that he turned 26 today.  

I finished the series of 5 books in about two weeks, all because that character latched onto me so much. 

I remember finishing the last part of the book with tears in my eyes, reading the last line Atleast a couple of times before accepting that it’s over, that now I know everything about what happened,  how he ended up and with whom. The first thing I did was scribble my very first thoughts in my notepad (which I generally do after reading a great book or watching a good movie).  After that, all I could do was listen to his favorite song, and cover myself in my blanket.  

The worst part of being in a book comma is when you don’t find anyone to talk about it and despite of forcing conversation on a couple of people and getting a hell lot of eye rolls, I still haven’t poured out my feelings to anyone completely.  

It has been almost 20 days but I’m still hung up on the book..  On him.  And I could not help myself but dedicate a post to him, on his birthday. 

The way he fought with the demons in his head, with every single problem and turned himself from a spoiled brat to a man with a great career is something I loved the most.  

I personally feel that if I’d meet a character like him in person, I’d probably look at  him as if he’s trouble, like everyone did, like he thought of himself.  But then again, that is what this character is about. It shows not to judge anyone on his appearance or his past and no matter what happens, how strong your demons are inside your head, you can always win them once you make a decision.  

He taught me there is no way that your past can define you, unless you let it; that you can change.. For yourself.  

At last, all I want to say is I’m proud of you and I wish Hardin Allen Scott a very happy birthday.  

I hope Karen or Nora and Tessa made you a great cake which you enjoyed with a family you finally have.  😊

Ps- Couldn’t help myself but post this from one of your favorite books ❤️

Two years. 


Two years ago, I started this blog with zero clue about what I’d write or how I’m going to manage it and now that I look back, I see myself as a completely new person.  I’m still not sure if I can still write well but at least I know that maybe I can scribble something meaningful with the combination of some words.  😅

I’m glad that this year I did not forget my blog anniversary unlike the last one but still I’m not happy that it took me almost whole day to sit down and be here, talking about it. 

The day is about to end and I’m really thankful for being here, that I’m writing this and I’m also thankful for all the support, to everyone who liked what I shared with them and appreciated it.  Also, whoever is reading this right now, thank you for your time.. For being here, for always being around.  😊

At last, happy second anniversary to ‘an ambivert’ and hopefully there are many more to come… Yay!!  🙂  

Semicolon


Instead of a full stop our story is full of semicolons because no matter how hard we try,  maybe there are some more sentences left; 

maybe we aren’t over yet.